Many of us will relate to having an ‘inner critic’ – that part of us that is incredibly hard on ourselves and beats us up if we make a mistake. Often this voice makes us feel pretty rubbish about ourselves and can contribute to feelings of anxiety, depression, inappropriate or excessive guilt, as well as reducing motivation to try new things because the idea of messing up or feeling feels so aversive.
An antidote to this is self-compassion. To treat ourselves with the same grace and kindness that we would treat others. Because we are all human; none of us are perfect and doing the best that we can is enough. Life can at times be hard enough without that internalised critical voice beating us up. A good rule of thumb is, if I wouldn’t speak to a friend this way, perhaps I don’t deserve the harsh way that I am speaking to myself either. Thinking about what we would say to a friend if they were in a similar situation can be a good starting point to learning how to be kinder to ourselves.
Research has shown that enhancing self-compassion leads to a range of positive outcomes including reducing anxiety, depression, and improving life satisfaction, motivation and relationships.
See below for some helpful self-compassion resources:
- https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/#guided-meditations
- This website which is run by Dr Kristin Neff includes a variety of self compassion exercises including guided meditations, as well as helpful information about self compassion.
- https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Self-Compassion
- The Centre for Clinical Interventions (CCI) has created a self-paced workbook called ‘building self-compassion’, which comprises various modules.
